The Good Parts (SongFics collection: I)
by cascadedkiwi
Summary: Oneshot. Written listening to "The Good Parts" by Andy Grammer on repeat.


Song: The Good Parts by Andy Grammer

Character: Takao Maruyama from My Forged Wedding

Takao had been staying later and later at the law office. When he came home, he always smiled at the sight of her face, but she could see night after night it was more and more forced. He never gave details about what was happening and "Another hard day at the office?" became her greeting as she'd help him out of his jacket. She tried her best to help him relax, hot baths, special meals and drinks, mindless conversations to distract him but they all seemed hollow.

Another night with a stressed Takao putting on a brave face had gone by and she sat up in bed watching him sleep. It was only then that the lines creased in his brow smoothed completely. She passed her hand lightly over his face, slightly disturbing the soft brown tresses that covered his forehead. A soft breath left her nostrils as she grimaced at her sleeping husband. "I wish you would talk to me, Takao," she whispered. "I want to know what's bothering you. I want to know everything about you. I want to share your troubles…" she slid down into bed beside him. "I wish you would open up to me…"

This evening seemed to be Takao's breaking point. He came home on time for the first time in over a month. He didn't announce his arrival, the closing door and his briefcase hitting the floor did. She rushed to the front door to see him leaning back against the door with his head back and eyes squeezed shut, silent.

"Tak-"

He raised his hand to stop her greeting and folded his lips, opening his eyes to gaze dully at the ceiling.

She waited. What had happened? He wasn't saying anything, he wasn't moving - he was just… there. Fully dressed and breathing, staring off into space.

She tried again. "Takao," she whispered gently. "Talk to me."

"About what?" he responded in a gravelly voice, finally straightening up from the door and bending down to loose his shoes. "Nothing to talk about."

She started to reach to help but he pulled away, finishing the task faster than she thought possible and excusing himself. She retrieved the briefcase he'd left behind, noting it felt strangely light compared to when she'd handed it to him this morning. Following a bit after him, she watched as he went to the bathroom, trailing his clothes behind him.

She didn't like this silent, distant Takao. He barely even touched her these days beyond their routine kisses each night before bed and when he left for work.

The shower ran while she sat in the bedroom, wondering what she could do. She were worried that stress was pulling Takao away. The oldest of five boys, he was accustomed to handling his troubles on his own, putting himself last in favour of caring for others. He always brushed off his own struggles. Even this past month, he forced that smile and did little things for her to boost her spirits.

She looked down at her hands, opening and closing them, focusing on the familiar feel of her wedding ring on her left hand. He wasn't just the oldest brother anymore, she wanted him to realize. He was married now. He had a partner he'd vowed to share his whole life with, not just the good parts.

The shower had done Takao well, it seemed, as he quickly retrieved his clothing articles from the floor and put them in the hamper. He glanced at himself in the mirror, nodding at the improvement of his features. At least it was over now, he thought with a sigh. Maybe now he could get back on track.

She didn't realized Takao had entered the room until she felt the bed dip with his weight behind her.

"_?" His voice was back to normal now. "Are you ok?"

"…No." Her voice was so small it surprised even her.

Takao was sitting up in a flash, beside her in a heartbeat. "Hey, why are you crying?"

Crying? Only then did she notice the tears at the corner of her eye.

"Did something happen? Kiyuki, look at me."

Takao's hands and voice were so gentle, the tears only built up more. She couldn't look at him.

"Talk to me, sweetie," he said. "Tell me what's wrong. I want to help."

She tried to hold back her voice but failed. "Why don't you do that?" she asked in a trembling voice.

"Do what?"

"What you just said." Kiyuki turned to him, pressing the backs of her fingers to her eyes to stem the tears so she could speak clearly. "Talk to ME, Takao. Tell ME what's wrong. I want to help YOU."

Takao looked confused. "What are you talking about? I don't understand."

"This past month," she swallowed, "you've come home stressed and haggard and whenever I tried to address you about it you'd brush it off or deflect me with that forced smile that hurts my heart every time you plaster it on. 'Just another hard day at the law firm,' you'd agree. I get that men don't talk much but I feel like you've been shutting me out even while taking care of me. I want to take care of you, too, but you won't let me and that… hurts." She looked down. "It bothers me that you don't have substantial conversations about yourself with me. I figure you can't give me details about work but at least tell me how you're feeling. I may not be able to do anything but I can listen and share those feelings with you. I'm your partner, Takao. You don't have to - you SHOULDN'T take things on alone anymore." She bit her lip. "Why is it so hard for you to open up and let me reciprocate the care you give me?"

Takao had silently listened to Kiyuki bare her heart in that emotional voice, eyes widening at times, grimacing with drooped shoulders, and looking down in the end. "I've always been like that," he whispered. "With my brothers, with the Long Island crew…"

She spoke up. "I'm your wife, Takao. Our relationship is special, different. We're side by side in life, now. You're not the oldest, the main assumed caretaker anymore." She cautiously reached out to take one of his hands. "Does it scare you?" she asked. "The idea of being cared for?"

He thought for a moment. "I've never considered it," he admitted. "It's just always been this way since my first brother was born."

"It makes me feel distant from you, watching you struggle without knowing why…"

Takao squeezed her hand. "But you've been doing so much for me - just being here every night-"

"It isn't enough, Takao!" Kiyuki shook your head. "Please forgive my selfishness but I want to hear your feelings, Takao. Your frustrations, your failures, your doubts and insecurities… I want to know you intimately. Do you think I would love you less if I saw your vulnerabilities? Do you feel like you always have to be in top form around me? Always pleasant and smiling, 'no worries, everything's fine'? If that's how you see it, you're not giving me all of you, love."

The things she was saying, Takao understood clearly, but could he really let that wall down after having built and maintained it for the majority of his life? It wasn't that he actively wanted to keep Kiyuki out, it was how he operated. To let someone in, to let the woman he loved and cherished and wanted to do and be his best for in on his emotional turmoil - what could she do? What would she do? To talk for just the sake of talking seemed pointless but at the same time she was telling him that she wanted to reciprocate the care he showed her. He would like to tell her that that was unnecessary but he could feel in his heart how much this meant to her and how long she had been stewing on these feelings. The trouble was over now but that didn't mean he was completely over the outcome. It had been majorly stressful to deal with alone but coming home to Kiyuki's sweet face and blind actions of concern had helped him shut down to tackle the problem again the next day for weeks on end. He had gotten through it but maybe it would have been easier if he had unloaded with her even a little bit in some instances.

He reached out and softly drew her to his chest, kissing the top of her head. "Forgive me for making you feel this way, sweetheart." He squeezed her gently. "And thank you." He looked down at her, his Godsend of a wife. Perhaps this was late, but he was willing to try. "It's over now, but… Would you hear me out?"

Kiyuki's lips spread up into a small smile as her heart sang. "Of course." She settled back against her husband's chest as he related his work troubles from the beginning, shifting to wrap her arms around his torso and give him a squeeze when he came to parts that seemed particularly difficult for him to voice.

They both lay cuddled tightly together in bed, moonlight illuminating their sleepy "thank you" kisses as they drifted off.

"Thank you for listening to my story and for encouraging me to talk."

"Thank you for talking to me. I love all of you."

 _Written on August 23rd 2018_


End file.
